Day 84

I do hate getting old!  This is not another rant born out of pure vanity, which thinking about, is my want to do - its the honest reality of growing older.

I lay awake for hours last night unable to get comfortable or block out the perpetual ache  in my hip, where do these aches and pains come from?  Why do they creep up on you as the years tick by? I was convinced I was about to keel over with a heart attack last week and took myself off to the doctor for a battery of tests that, thankfully, disproved my cardiac arrest theory, but opened a gambit of other possibilities - its a NIGHTMARE! To be honest, since hearing my heart is in perfect working order, I haven't experienced any pain.  I was chatting with some girlfriends the other day when one of them asked me what bone density pill I was taking - it hadn't occurred to me that I should be taking anything.  I flew into a bit of a panic and asked what other supplements were deemed appropriate for our age? After listening to an endless list of things I should be taking and check ups I should be having, my mind was reeling!  My instinctive reaction was to reach for the bottle, pour another large glass of wine and hope for the best.  Reflecting on all this upkeep one is supposed to do, I came to the conclusion, I would have little time for anything else - its mind blowing, I'm sure the folk we hear about that live in remote villages in Asia and live for hundreds of years  don't take a myriad of supplements every morning.

I have just had a call from my darling husband to say his car has broken down and   needs a lift to the airport, maybe we too should also be able to trade our bodies in for a new model when they break down! x

Day 81

"With an iron clenched fist I wake up and french kiss the morning"
You've got to love Bon Jovi!

This line is from one of my favourite Bon Jovi songs - Bed Of Roses, and that's how I felt this morning. I woke up with a steely determination and the promise of a new start! I have two weeks to go and I'm excited for the prospect of a new bod and a new me! x

Day 80

Its two weeks to go and I'm in a cold sweat panic!

I just don't seem to realise the urgency of my situation. I was so pleased with myself on Saturday having reached my mini goal, but everything has gone fuzzy since then and I don't know what to do! You would think I would be shocked into the reality of fourteen days versus eight kilos - do you think I can do it?  Ive thrown away four days since Saturday and something has to sink in fast - but WHAT?  Actually, now that I think about it, there is something that can jolt me out of this quagmire - I have chosen my new tattoo. I have decided on the Lotus Flower, which  represents harmony and beauty (two things I am constantly striving for.), it  symbolises a difficult and sometimes traumatic, emotional and physical journey through 'muddy waters' to emerge triumphant  and healed as a beautiful flower! I feel that part of my weight gain can be attributed to the pain of losing my parents within seven months of each other in the last two years. Recognising this, along with shedding the kilos has given me the opportunity of a new beginning emotionally as well as physically. The problem is I'm still fighting my way through those murky waters and desperately need to break out and blossom into the sunshine!  I CANNOT and WILL NOT give up now! x

Day 74

The reason for my very early post is that I'm terrified something will go wrong with my computer again and I will be cut off from the world of technical communication!

I'm sitting outside my daughters school waiting to sign in for Hot Dog duty - I have never done this before and have no idea what is expected of me! I have lost another kilo on the scales this morning which puts me one number closer to my goal. A girlfriend commented on my blog from yesterday asking "When is it all going to end?" I have to say I feel the same way, thirteen weeks is an eternity when one is counting it down kilo by bloody kilo! We are going to a school social tomorrow night which makes me just a tad nervous, not for the event itself, I'm sure that's going to be great, its just that with the limited food intake a  bit of alcohol can have drastic consequences! Unfortunately, I'm speaking from experience on this one, a couple of weeks ago we went to a friends fiftieth Birthday party which was fabulously done and all the who's who of  Cape Town were there. I had a glass of Champagne on arrival followed by two glasses of wine, at which point the sensible me should have stopped - but OH NO, my wild side decided that a couple of Tequilas wouldn't be a sign of complete madness! The results were appalling and luckily my divine husband could foresee the tornado that was about to hit The River Cafe and gently but firmly guided me home! What I'm trying to say is when on a diet, ones food to alcohol ratio has to balance! I shall have to watch myself tomorrow night although I have sworn off Tequila forever (I think my husband is relieved!).

Tomorrow is D-Day for another mini goal so I'm holding thumbs and staying out of the fridge! x

Day 73

I cant believe it has been so long since my last blog - I have missed writing so much and am very glad to be 'back in the saddle'! (You know what I mean).

I have been without any domestic help for two weeks now which can be a bit of a disaster if you are not used to doing everything yourself! (I am not used to it at all!). I was at  a farewell dinner last night, bemoaning my situation, when one of my girlfriends announced that she was training herself and her family to do all the housework themselves in the unlikely event they can no-longer afford any help. I found this most peculiar on several levels ( I know this is going to come out  all wrong and make me look like a lazy, spoiled elitist but its really not like that - I'm just being honest!).  Firstly, I told her I thought we were all working harder and longer hours to improve our lifestyles, not make them worse.  Secondly, at near fifty years old we are all trying desperately to maintain the illusion of youthful hands which is only achievable with well manicured nails and lashings of hand cream (household detergents are just no good for manicures) - not to mention the face which can be run ragged and sprout wrinkles at the mere thought of the stress of  changing bed linen (my worst), hoovering and constantly picking up thousands of tiny pieces of Lego! No thank you - I have worked long and hard to be able to pay someone for that kind of help and I'm not about to give it up!

Maybe I'm feeling so emotional about this because my dear Patience has now taken six weeks holiday since the beginning of the year! She just has absolutely no grasp on how many days make a week or, more to the point, how many days there are in three weeks which is her annual leave time! About a month ago she told me she would like to go to Zimbabwe for a wedding, and since it was being held on a Saturday, would be gone for the weekend. I was curious as to how she intended on getting to and from Zimbabwe in three days?, her reply was that she would be leaving a week before the wedding and arriving home a week after the event but would still only be at the wedding for two days!  I must say, the look of amazement and bewilderment on her face when I told her, that in reality, she would be away for two weeks as apposed to a long weekend was priceless!

I have to say one thing for slogging up and down stairs doing housework - its a fabulous workout! I have been doing manual labour from morning to night and the results are showing, its now quite noticeable that Ive shrunk YAY! Maybe I should be thanking Patience instead of cursing her! (I really do love her!)

I have three weeks to go before we leave for NY and I'm getting so excited. A lot can still be done weight wise in three weeks and I'm not slowing down now! x