Day 4

The first three days of going cold turkey on an addiction are reported to be the worst. Breaking the addiction to food is no less painful! I woke up this morning with my stomach empty fully believing that with the last three days of pain and dedication I would look in the mirror and be as thin as a hair - sadly this was not the case, in fact, I cant see any change at all. I foolishly stood there looking at myself thinking any minute now the image staring back at me is going to morph into the body of  Pamela Anderson with my face and her hair and tan, believe it or not this did not happen - I was stunned! I think that today is going to be one of those tough and emotional times I spoke of in my first blog, but will I give up? Hell to the no - I am a fighter and I will fight.

I managed to stop smoking about two years ago, it was overnight, I went to sleep a dedicated smoker and woke up the next morning with no desire ever to smoke again and have never looked back, not even being tempted through the trauma of my poor Mums death or the stress of renovating. If I can do that surely I can do this, I'm amazed that in our highly evolved brains there isn't an on/off switch to stop us from over indulging. Actually I think there is, but I just have to find it. What also amazes me is that in our advanced world of science and medicine no-one has come up with a diet pill that REALLY does work and is healthy and long lasting. Think of all the health related issues that could be eliminated if we were all slim! Speaking of which I was doing one of those surveys in a magazine the other day where you tick the boxes to see how many dreadful ailments  are awaiting you down the line, I stopped half way because I thought I would go into cardiac arrest just seeing how many boxes I had already ticked! I'm sure there is really a diet pill that works but nobody will put it on the market for fear of putting all those hundreds of diet supplements , shakes soups etc out of business - did you know there is now a coffee that you can drink that is supposed to make the weight fall off?, oh yes, the advert shows a girl diving into a pool fat and coming out fabulously thin, all this from drinking a few cups of this coffee!

We are going camping this weekend, its my daughters Grade 2 family camp out. I will have to spend some time plotting and planning my meals so I'm not blindsided by a bowl of chips. My daughter, who is the most beautiful creature in the world,(I believe as her mother I'm allowed to say that!) is a great source of inspiration, happiness and envy to me. You may ask why envy - she is an exact replica of me at that age which makes me question where it all went wrong, she very petite with one of those little bodies that is made up of muscle covered with a tight thin layer of skin. You know how some people have that thin skin and others have that thick spongy look - its a bit like comparing a Whippet to a Bull Dog and I'm sure you can guess whose who in this analogy. The other night she was wearing a stunning pair of Gap jeans that fitted her to perfection and my husband pointed out that that's exactly how I looked ten years ago before falling pregnant, I just thought 'Oh damn, he has finally noticed that Ive picked up a kilo or two!' Whom I kidding? In fact, I no longer watch the Wild Life channels with the family - the number of times Ive heard my husband say ' Look kids theres Mum fishing' or 'Theres Mum going for a swim' which is followed by shrieks of laughter and when I look up its either a great big Grizzly Bear catching Salmon or a Hippo wading into the river! Thank God Ive got that thick spongy skin! Its funny how I do still love my family to distraction. Anyhow, I'm off to arm myself with some bottles of Light Wine and go camping! x